


One Foot in the Grave

by TiredSmolPrince



Series: Death’s Chosen [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Balthazar slid into importance in appointment in samarra, Deathly Hallows AU, Episode: s02e22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Episode: s06e11 Appointment in Samarra, Episode: s06e22 The Man Who Knew Too Much, Episode: s08e23 Sacrifice, Episode: s10e23 My Brother's Keeper, Gen, I love him, he demanded a big role with neutral gender terms lmao, i blame this on my convo, in addition to seeing death/sam if you tilt your head and squint, no actually harry potter characters, what an asshole, with saintsurvivour, you can also see balth/sam is you tilt it and quint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 01:10:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13602405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredSmolPrince/pseuds/TiredSmolPrince
Summary: ”The Elder Wand," he said, and he drew a straight vertical line on the parchment. "The Resurrection Stone," he said, and he added a circle on top of the line. "The Cloak of Invisibility," he finished, enclosing both line and circle in a triangle, to make the symbol that so intrigued Hermione. "Together," he said, "the Deathly Hallows.- Xenophilius Lovegood





	1. The Death Stick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saintsurvivor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintsurvivor/gifts).



> I act to myself as if i’m not going to do a bunch of side stories for this about other episodes lmao

_**”The Elder Wand.”** _

Samuel stands up heaving, glad that Azazel’s game was finally over and hoping beyond hope that his brother would arrive soon. Samuel hears the impala rumbling through his ears, his head, it thrums through his entire being and without even thinking Samuel turns around stumbling. Home rolled into Cold Oak and the tight cage of fear Samuel had been locked inside loosens, tension rolls from his shoulders and be steps forward, steps towards his brother and the salvation Dean offers Samuel.

Samuel pauses at the horror spreading rapidly across Dean’s face and thinks and turns and gasps as pain lights up his entire being. His vision blurs briefly in pain, and Samuel can hear the gun shots, the furious grief filled screams coming from Dean and at the edge of it all Bobby is there feeling sick at the sight of them. Knees hit the hard packed dirt making everything jostle again in pain and Samuel lets out a high pitch whine so very sorry that he would be leaving Dean leaving his brother all alone on the road.

Theres a thud, the clacking of a gun falling to the ground and distantly Samuel is aware enough to be glad Dean had emptied the round inside it trying to kill Jake. Jake, the man he’d left alive, the one who stabbed him with a stake and it makes Samuel laugh roughly as he wheezes about the fact he would die like the monster John always thought Samuel would become. Arms wrap around him as Dean places pressure around his would, Samuel thinks he can feel tears falling on his head and wonders whether they are his or his brothers; Dean begs him to stay, begs him just to keep awake a little while more so Bobby can bring over the car and they can get to a hospital. Samuel knows it’s futile, thinks it futile and smiles as he breathes out for what is possibly the last time.

Samuel wakes up screaming, wakes up to the sensation of being torn away from peace and there is a curse on his lips, a prayer for more, a wish for death. Samuel shudders, gasping as his eyes snap open, as his muscle spasms and tears appear on his face, Samuel’s hand finds perches on a long thin piece of wood and satire amusement threatens to swallow him whole. Dean, he thinks and wonders, what had happened to his brother, his partner, his other half?

Samuel knows how his brother is made, possibly more than he knows how he himself is made but Dean had always been the most important thing in Samuel’s life and will continue to be just that. His own breaking point is so very similar to Dean’s but worlds upon worlds a part at the same time; Samuel would shatter without being able to save Dean, Dean would break if his little brother perished in a situation the man thought he should have been able to stop. 

He looks down to where his hands idly flip a long thin piece of wood between his fingers, Samuel blinks long and slow and distantly he thinks he hears a fire roaring, crackling and devouring thousands of souls. Samuel breathes out, and the moment is gone he is deaf and blind, he tastes nothing, hears nothing and all Samuel can smell is ash, sulphur, blood, blood, _blood_. Dread curls in his gut, had Dean made a deal for him, he was Azazel’s boy king, he had supposed to be Azazel’s boy king his heir how long would they give Samuel’s brother?

Would they give him any time at all? Sobs build up in his throat choking him, but then Samuel remembers, remembers sulphur can be a smell left behind after death. Wonders and hopes and prays (begs on his hands and knees, pleading for Dean’s life for him) that Dean hadn’t sold his soul for such a tarnished being as Samuel, he knows he is bound for hell, after all with demon blood running through his veins how could he ever be accepted into heaven?

Sure he prays, he’s faithful and never doubts even as more and more people are killed everyday; Samuel is devout and he thinks maybe he lives because heaven was disgusted by the black on his soul, decides he lives because hell had not realised Samuel was destined there regardless of being their king or not. Samuel knows for a fact whatever peace his mind, his soul, his entire being thinks it was ripped from was a fallacy and wonders briefly if he had been thrown in Lucifer’s prison because why would God not give his brightest son peace even in punishment. Hysterical laughter erupts, spills over and Samuel slides of the bed onto the floor fear bubbling up inside his stomach.

He can’t feel Dean. Samuel could always feel Dean, always no matter what even when he had run away to Stanford there was a steady heartbeat overlapping his own and visceral fear encases him. Terror engulfs him, swallows him whole and this Samuel is used too, this is what he is comfortable with and ironically the fear makes him calm from hysteria down into numbness. Samuel uncurls himself (his soul? ~~his true form?~~ ) and lets himself feel, Death walks the streets of Cold Oak and their reapers prowl the grounds looking for those of them that lost and had been chained here until the end.

Death approaches and Samuel shudders, nerves alight and hyperaware of every breath he takes, every scent he inhales, knows the taste of blood and death on his tongue intimately and his skin curls at the rotten wood beneath his hands. Death enters and Samuel sucks in a breathe between teeth, hissing and scrambling backwards; he stops when his hand connects with the thin long wood (the wand?) Samuel freezes and Death looks irritated perhaps, neutral acceptance appears on the beings face (an illusion of a face or truly one belonging to Death?).

“Perhaps next time hmm?” And life floods through the abandoned town, the feeling of Dean crawls up his front and shoves itself down his throat so suddenly Samuel throws himself prostrate and vomits bile. He tucks the wand away into his boot without thinking, not registering it melting into his skin, (into his soul.)

Footsteps pound outside the door, and then, and then. Dean’s hands are on his back making Samuel feel five all over again, reminding him of when he first got sick so badly he vomited and Dean had stayed by Samuel’s side the entire time rubbing his back and humming. Hands run up and down his back, reassuringly, guiltily Samuel can smell sulphur again, smells it on his brother on Dean and it _b u r n s_ Samuel inside out; the knowledge Dean sold himself for a man destined for Death and Samuel cracks right down the middle, sobs ripping from his chest and he heaves and cries and sobs nearly hyperventilating while the room spins around them.

“C’mon Sammy, that’s right let it out it’ll be better afterwards remember? It’s always better after, shhh, shhh everything’s okay no need to cry now Sammy, shhh, shhh we’re all okay and your alive we’re all alive it’s alright baby boy it’s okay shhh, shhh.” Dean runs a hand up and down Samuel’s back, up and down and up and down a repetitive motion that slowly calms him down. The other hand presses gently between Samuel’s shoulder, working away the tension even as the notes of Hey Jude work as they always do, slowly lulling Samuel into sleep’s bittersweet embrace.

Dean picks Samuel up, cradles his reborn (newborn, newly made, _remade_ ) brother and slacks taunt muscles as the connection between Samuel and him reignites a bonfire in Dean’s chest. He walks slowly, not caring a damn about the world so wrapped up in watching Samuel’s chest and making sure he does not trip; Dean needs to know Samuel is breathing like he needs water to live, he thinks, he knows that he would break if his brother left him. Dean would break if they did not leave at the same time, regardless his heart splinters because Samuel thinks he is damned Dean knows more than anything his precious, wonderful, amazing baby brother would have been in heaven.

“You’ll be okay Sammy, you have to be okay sweetheart so don’t you dare give up on me. You’ll be fine and sure maybe I won’t be here with you but when you die? When you die you’re gonna be old and aching and then you’ll go to heaven so it won’t matter because everything you see will have me alive. You’re gonna be fine Sammy.” Dean repeats, he doesn’t know if he’s trying to reassure himself or his brother’s sleeping body; guilt weighs on him much heavier than his deal’s mark.


	2. The Death Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like??? No self control??? Gabe wyd there son when did you become a part of this story???
> 
> When did BALTHAZAR become a major part of this story??? Am I just,
> 
> Shoving the relationships that could have been so much more all into one fic

_**”The Resurrection Stone.”** _

Balthazar watches, invisible to the room as the Righteous Man and his brother scream and argue one terrified, the other hopeful and their brother tries to calm the Winchesters down. Balthazar smirks, amused that Castiel could stop these brothers arguing if they wanted to, not even the Winchesters themselves could stop the arguing no matter how hard they tried. Eventually Dean leaves the room in a huff and shortly after the Impala’s engine rumbles ominously out the front, by the time any of them are outside the Righteous Man is long gone.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Balthazar asks cockily, stepping into sight in front of the three occupants left and rustling their wings. They run a sharp eye over their brother and the way his wings aren’t preened nor clean and Balthazar gets sympathy aches at the sight of Castiel’s wing. Samuel glances to the side at their brothers wings so fast if they weren’t an angel they would assume to imagine it, the fact he the one destined for Lucifer who had cast himself down can see an angel’s wing doesn’t surprise Balthazar.

They listen as Robert Singer and their baby brother explain the situation even as Samuel looks as if he were about to flee and Balthazar feels a tug on their grace. The boy with the demon blood, who had grown up so noble and pure and had cast himself down to save the world; his soul had been left in the Cage with Lucifer and Michael two furious archangels, they would be terrified, they would have already fled by this point and Balthazar is slightly smitten with his bravery.

A few hours later and Balthazar is the only one left inside the panic room with Samuel and their heart breaks for him, they refrain from saying it not wanting to possibly bring up any bad memories. Balthazar sits spread across the armchair they’d snapped up for themselves and starts to reread the list of prayers that had been rewired to him for years; they wonder how any of their siblings could not want to have this wonderful mans prayers in his head everyday.

“What are you reading?” Samuel’s voice is admirably calm for someone who knows with full certainty their soul that had been attacked by two furious archangels would soon reenter his body. Balthazar ponders whether to answer truthfully, but then remembers all the times their charge had been lied to and sighs as their resolve crumbles.

“All your prayers from over the years.” They confessed in a hushed whisper, not knowing whether Samuel would be happy or angry or just sad at the thought his prayers were shunted to the angel in charge of guardians heavens vault. Balthazar knows he is smart enough to figure out they got his prayers so no one would be able to do anything for him, it makes their grace ache down to their very core.

“My... prayers?” Samuel asked stunned, obviously thinking they had not been heard at all or maybe have only been heard by Lucifer in the Cage.

“Yes, your prayers. They’re a wonderful thing Samuel, I’m blessed everyday I receive them even if I could do nothing for you. Your soul is so bright and soft and even without it you care so much that it affects your actions when as a soulless being you shouldn’t be able to feel anything but fear.”

“Really? You mean that?” Samuel looks stunned and their equivalent of a heart cracks right down the middle at their charges assurance of damnation. It both hurts and makes them furiously, smugly proud that their charge was so absolutely good he could still feel emotions even without a soul.

“Absolutely without a single doubt Samuel Winchester.” Balthazar speaks softly, and fluidly stands up to stare the man straight in his eyes. Their wings spread out behind them, and Samuel looks in awe and Balthazar has never felt _l o v e_ so pure for anyone but their Father; truly Samuel was a blessing for them for him to be able to see true forms and be assigned to Balthazar. “I may have never been able to do anything, and have never been able to find you after I faked my death but I would burn the world down to help. Though it’s what you prevent so here I am, on Team Free Will.”

“Then, please Balthazar isn’t it my choice if I get my soul back or not? Is there any way I can stop it, any at all?” Samuel pleads, begs and glares; fear lining every part of his being like a soft caress and it makes them ache down to their very core.

“Of course Samuel.” Balthazar caves, enamoured with the pure tenacity of this man and understanding his fear even if they had never fought directly against their own sibling. Balthazar can understand being terrified of the archangels, terrified of the wrath they bring so Balthazar understands and fold like a house of cards. With a lopsided smile they talk, “fratricide Samuel. Your body will refuse the soul if you commit fratricide, and yes I know Johnny boy is dead but Robert will substitute just fine, you considered him a father didn’t you?”

Relief floods the man’s face and Balthazar sighs at their own folly, sighs turns and with a snap the panic door swings open unlocked. They can’t bear to watch this but they cannot force themselves to leave, reluctantly Balthazar sticks around watching, waiting and silent as a grave making sure their little brother is unable to sense them. It makes Balthazar smile as how much Castiel loves these men, they smile at the fact these men helped his little brother figure out pronouns; Castiel had been confused about them for a long time and it makes them happy to see him so relaxed and confident in himself.

Another hour or two later has Balthazar watching Death place Samuel’s soul inside his body, and smile softly at the wall the being adds to their charges brain. It seems even Death was impressed with Samuel Winchester, that Death respected the courage and pure strength it took to overwhelm not only one archangel but to fo it at just the right time to drag the other down with him. Death looks up at them before leaving, and with a significant look leaves; Balthazar sucks in air they do not need and is hyper aware of a stone forming in their pocket.

Maybe Balthazar can be Samuel’s main assistant if he gathers the third item and passes Death’s test. Hopefully they will still live by then, prays to their Father to let them be alive to help Samuel through that.

* * *

He jerks awake gasping, he doesn’t know who he is or where he is; the policemen trying to wake him get knocked out in his panic and the man flees not knowing who he is or where he came from. Twenty, thirty minutes later he remembers enough, Samuel remembers Balthazar and Dean and Bobby. ~~and Death.~~

Robin comes with him for the drive back to Sioux Falls but before they can leave Samuel tackles her and a bullet flies overhead. He lets her leave, and ignores her warning though Samuel wishes he hadn’t five minutes later when he runs into the soulless version of himself. Once he was soulless and once he was in the Cage, it takes Samuel very little thought to figure out what exactly might be in this mental Sioux Falls but he pushes through and eventually ends up back at Bobby’s.

“You don’t want me Samuel, you really don’t.” His Cage memories given form warns him.

“Needs must and the needs I have will eat me up from the inside out if I don’t go help them, I will destroy you if it means saving Dean and Bobby and Balthazar who have helped me so much.” Samuel stares, accepting this necessity but not likely it at all; he kills himself for the second ( ~~tenth? twentieth? fiftieth?~~ ) time and screams out as the years fly by in what should be only minutes.

Samuel snaps his eyes open, breathing heavily in the silence of the panic room and flips a stone over again and again and again. He stands up, pushing his hair up and out of his face behind his ears, Samuel blinks at the stone in his hand; shudders at the similarities of Cold Oak and watches dispassionately as it melts into his skin. Samuel knows what something touching his soul feels like now, remembers it and the Cage and shivers.

Samuel leaves Bobby’s house without noticing the archangel who had died for him shimmering in the light as he follows Samuel. He leaves and hunts down Dean and Bobby and Balthazar, and Samuel finds Balthazar dead their wings etched into the rich marble flooring and whines a high pitch note. Dean yells at Castiel in a nearby room and Samuel hurries to help them, thankful that whatever the stone was it had organised his memories enough for him not to be having flashbacks.

Balthazar opens their eyes with a slow blink, and stares up at the ceiling of what had been the prophet Chuck Shurley’s house. Snorts as they remembers how their Father had flat out told their charge and charges brother he was God; they hope father only needs them for a little bit, Balthazar already misses their connection to Samuel as the angel responsible for his prayers.

“It’s just for a few days kiddo, and then you get to take Gabriel with you to see Samuel as well. You weren’t supposed to die, Death and I agreed for you to be Samuel’s assistant. Gabriel is a bonus so Samuel doesn’t feel guilty any longer for what had been your brothers choice be it influenced by the sight of Samuel’s soul as it was.” God speaks, and Balthazar relaxes at their fathers voice letting it wash over them before slipping back into unconsciousness.


End file.
